Do you worry about China?

If you have watching the news lately you may have heard a thing or two about China and America's worries with the economy, environment and over-population. I am here today to announce a solution, smoking. China already has a large population of smokers. A recent news story on PBS stated that 60% of Chinese males smoke. Here is how it solves almost every problem that many are worrying about.
Over-Population: As more people smoke in China, they may become more ill and take the sharp edge off of the birth rate. Not only would the actual smokers catch the emphysema or wonderlung while pumping life-sapping haze into the air for those of the Chinese population who choose to not smoke.
Environment: I think smoking is good for tree's and actually cleans filthy soot in the air because it hides clean air from deadly gases that seep out of filthy chinese automobiles. I can't tell you where I heard that fact but I am pretty certain it is solid.
Economy: The United States keeps pumping monopoly money into the Chinese economy in the form of bonds that we really do not expect to pay back. This worries some people who do not like games. Smoking can cure these issues as well. As many people in the mighty Red state begin to develop coffee-stirrer windpipes, American financial institutions can sit and wait for the Chinese Finance Department to not make it up the stairs in their high-rise offices. Problem Solved!
American's need to stop worrying about developing countries and their growing pain problems. I have seen Mad Men and know that America was just like China a few decades ago and frankly, those Americans had more class. They wore hats and suits instead of pajama jeans and Bump-its. Even though Bump-its add a special space to hide cigarettes to help solidify the lie, "This is my last smoke," even though a secret stash is hiding in your voluptuous hair.

In conclusion, we Americans have better things to worry about like a great space program. We need to get to space before China wants real money and overruns the earth with tar stained teeth and stale breath.