Night at the Movies with Mic #1

Hey all, it's Diamond_Tough I'm gonnna talk about movies I like cause I took a film class in college so that qualifies me to critique movies, mostly ones made in the 80's cause you know that was awesomer due to the fact that most movies these days are boo hoo dramas or special effect wet dreams.  So here is where I review shit but with a twist I'll watch it while I review, today I'm reviewing License to Kill, you know Bond MOTHERFUCKER:

First I ask you to bask in the glory of the movie poster, do peope make movie posters like this anymore? No cause ever since computers were invented people said "screw painting bad ass movie posters, let's just take a still from the film and add a gazillion explosions".  Well there are explosions in this (sky) painting but there aren't a gazillion of them and it's a work of art, so there.  So of this movie shows us a lot more of an emo bond, he isn't doing business shit and spying on people he's chillin' with his bro who just got married, unfortunatly he's bro is one of the people who are buzzkills, you know DEA agents who don't want us to get the good drugs so quite frankly when a pissed off drug kingpin kills Bond's homie I don't really feel any sympathy, I had a huge deal coming out of Cuba and those DEA douches shut it down so now I have to sit at home and collect unemployment... Oh well look whose getting emo now.  So like all Bond movies it's got action that will make you stiff in the pants, bad guys who are just straight dicks (unlike emo villians of today who have a "conscious"), so Bond's homie gets killed cause he was being a buzzkill and and tried to ruin some guys business, I mean wouldn't you be a little upset if you had a couple business transactions going through wouldn't you be a little upset?  Anyways, so Bond finds out about this quits his jobs and royally fucks this dudes world up, you know cause Bond isn't a cold hearted dude if his homie gets killed he kills a lot more people and why not?  He's good at it, if you were good at things I wouldn't judge you, talents are talents man you can't stifle someone's skill.  You notice the part where he finds his dude's wife dead, he kinda touches her boob, no joke, maybe Timothy Dalton hadn't been getting laid lately, I'm not sure, I'd love to see the director's cut but I doubt that'll happen anytime soon.  Now the black dude helps his dude out, I'm pretty sure this is the only bond movie with black people in it (except the part in Casion Royale where he chases the monkey dude, again not being racist the guy is as agile and can climb like a monkey, if he was white I"d say the same thing and I'm not being racist I don't know the guy's name) plus he has the most greatest line in cinema history "Chainsaw my ass!  I know a shark bite when I see one".  Golden.  I've already seen this and I don't feel like typing random crap forever but let's just say Bond kicks ass, takes a hiatus from stopping those damn commies and then rolls a fat jay with his homies and reminisces about the good old days while playing cards and drinking 40oz with his dudes, did I mention there are sharks in this movie?  Yeah sharks, you should rent it or watch it on netflix, two boners up.